2005-07-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

On July 26, 1947, President Truman signed the National Security Act, creating the Department of Defense, the National Security Council, the Central Intelligence Agency and the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

This was stolen word-for-word from http://www22.brinkster.com/gwnl/geniuses.html

2004-09-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

"Tips for Evil Geniuses and Scientists or How not to be a Deranged Evil Genius or Mad Scientist:

I will not experiment on myself.

I will not transplant my mind into the Hero's brain when my test monkey is still in the laboratory.

None of my super-weapons will have a "reverse" switch.

My secret lab/lair will have excellent ventilation, automatic sprinklers, and halon extinguishers handy at every bench.

My glass flask holders, test tube racks, and bunsen-burner heated apparati will be anchored to the floor or wall, not balanced precariously on a wobbly table.

Any ability enhancing formula that has potential degenerative or addictive effects may be suitable to use on the Controlled Masses, but not on myself.

My high-energy sealed test chamber will only be activatable from the outside by the combination of my hand and retinal print. If someone has relieved me of my hand and eye to get them, I'd rather be dead anyway.

If I can splice genes to create a 60 meter long killer cockroach, I can also insert in said creation a susceptibility to my custom formula of Raid, which I can carry in a convenient key chain mace canister.

Experimental monster creations will not only have one immediately lethal vulnerability only I can exploit, but until my Diabolical Plan is ready to implement, they will also have an addiction to a material only I can supply, without which they will die in a day or two.

I will always have an open airplane ticket to New Zealand on hand in case my current project escapes my laboratory, starts mutating beyond control, or starts talking back to me in a belligerent fashion.

I will personally select the brain to be used in my life-creation experiment.

If I need one liter of my secret formula to implement my Diabolical Plan, I will produce ten liters and store the other nine safely in different caches.

I will always carry the antidote on my person. But it will be in a vial marked 'poison reserve.' The poison reserve will be in the vial marked 'antidote.'

If I am working on an optical mind control device, I will remove all extraneous mirrors from the lab and wear polarized contact lenses at all times.

I will test the strength, power, and weaknesses of all monsters I create. Better to pull back and send two monsters next time than lose one due to simple poor planning.

Experiments requiring a human test subject shall be performed on kidnapped anti-social bums who live alone in large cities, not someone who people will notice the disappearance of, like a female student at the local high school.

If I really must have a teenage girl to perform my experiments on for some reason, I will not choose the buxom cheerleader whose courageous and handsome boyfriend is captain of the football team. Instead, I will choose the mousy quiet girl whose only likely boyfriend is the nervous head of the Dungeons and Dragons club, who I can probably co-opt if I need to.

I will remember that any robot/device/mental power that can be remotely controlled from ten feet can, with sufficient preparation, effort, and/or energy, be remotely controlled from 100 miles or more.

Feeding of Ravenous Caged Beasts will be taken care of my reduntant, automatic Beast Feeders or, if the compound is well sealed by me, extraneous underlings. No underling (espacially one with a girlfreind to impress) will ever be given the keys to the cages.

My Android Armies will be capable of independent action not rely on a central brain for coordination. Further, they will have logic-loop rejection procedures to prevent paralisis by "Everything I say is a lie" type statements.

If I have underlings who follow orders literally (AI or robotic guardians, brainwashed minions, etc.), I will make their orders as clear and specific as possible. I will specify IN ADVANCE that orders such as "Kill everyone in this room!" or "Allow no one to enter or leave!" automatically include the proviso "Except for me." Also, they will be directed to ignore orders that would harm me. It would be undignified to die because I got frustrated and sarcastically said "Kill me now!"

After unleashing the computer virus which will inititate my Diabolic Plan and bring about the downfall of the free world I will ensure that the original copy of the virus is deleted from my hard drive, and destroy all hard copy notes on the construction of said virus.

Advice for Aliens and Monsters on the Rampage.

Inoculate before invasion.

Don't terrorize around nuclear power stations.

No matter how pretty the girl, leave her alone. Almost guaranteed your anatomies, much less your biologies are not compatible.

If your planet desperately needs women, chances are you can get them without invasion by simply offering job and pay equity.

Don't route all power through the Mothership.

Don't climb tall buildings to evade capture unless you can fly from the top.

Don't lay your eggs in a major metropolitan subway system or stadium. Find a nice secluded cave. If you can outbreed your enemies, don't go for the brute force takeover.

Conduct all planning sessions in your own planet's toungue. A group of non-humans speaking English are just asking for intelligence intercepts.

Eat the prisoners. It solves many later problems before they crop up. If you CAN'T eat the prisoners, why are you invading?

The pre-invasion scouting efforts should include time spent at a regional office of Greenpeace. Examine the list of life forms COMPLETELY WIPED OUT by the locals. If any resemble your forces, especially the warrior caste, pick another planet.

Invade a kindergarten first. If you can't handle the house-apes, you have no business invading the planet.

A large enough group of human prisoners will invariably contain one person willing to sell out his own mother to survive the invasion. AND/OR one person willing to sacrifice his mother to trick you into trusting him until it is too late. If your technology or internal politics cannot easily deal with this problem, pick another planet. (Or eat the prisoners, see above.) "

Ah yes, very important advice. Moving on, boys take up too much time and therefore aren't worth the trouble. They're out, at least for awhile (and NO I'm not moving to the Dark Side). Also, I bought some neat coveralls on EBay for $13 so that I'll look cooler while I'm working. More sciency-respectable, if you will. And I think I can fit a pocket protector in the front.

Time to go finish my homework, finish moving my furniture, buy a cigar and take over the world.

The Skies Are Friendlier

2004-08-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Looks like I really *am* going to learn how to fly a plane before I learn how to drive a car. Hmph. Planes are more condusive to world domination anyway.

A minor in aviation, and a minor in computer science. If possible a minor in electrical/computer engineering as well. A math minor for sure, and if I have to take another language, I'll take Russian.

There's some other stuff I want to do, but will I have time?

EGMSG To Do List

2004-08-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

1. Buy soldering iron
2. Dig out Chinese books and catch up
3. Perfect ambidexteriocitous skills (going well so far)
4. Develop evil laugh (not TOO cheezy)
5. Build weather station
6. Buy stock?(explanation)(article)
7. Study predecessors (see below), determine strengths and faults in form.

Each EG/MS above will be further analyzed in further postings. Also, nemeses of above will be addressed.

(8. Do promised postings pertaining to predecessors)

Links...zwo drei fier...

2004-08-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'll be pasting links and adding to the sidebar soon, but until then keep yourselves busy here. There is no better mass publication.

Note I said "mass."

Reading List Addition

2004-08-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

Review: I myself have only read the first 30-or-so pages, but I adore it. First thing I'm going to buy after books for school is a soldering iron and more PCBs.

2004-08-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

A proper way to start the site is by pasting my Geek Code.

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.1
GS/GCS/GMU/GPAd--(---)s+:+a20c++>$W+++M--PS-PEt--5--X+++tvb++++DI++G++e>+++++(e*)h+(h-)r+x+
-----END GEEK CODE BLOCK-----

Evil Genius Mad Scientist Girl

This was stolen word-for-word from http://www22.brinkster.com/gwnl/geniuses.html

The Skies Are Friendlier

EGMSG To Do List

Links...zwo drei fier...

Reading List Addition